Building Independent Play
Hands up if you want a cuppa coffee in peace? Five minutes on your own to recharge your batteries?
Some days we are exhausted, drained and can not deal with a stage 5 clinger calling out their favourite word “MMMUUUMMM” for the millionth time that minute. Over the past month I have shared over 20 ways to build independent play not only to increase your littles learning, resilience and persistence, but more importantly finding you those 5 minutes to drink a hot coffee. Below are our top 5.
1. Value their play
You want them to play right?
You want them to jump in and keep going?
You want intensity in their concentration?
So don’t interrupt, don’t rush it and don’t dismiss it.
Think about the language we use when we talk about play, its almost dismissive, “oh they are JUST playing”.
Think about the times we have rushed children or were rushed as children as “the work of adults is more important”
Think about the fact that, play is the child’s work. Would you interrupt someone working?
We need to let our children know that we value their play and as such that it is worth investing in.
If we all value it, placing it as critically important, it moves from being something they ‘just do’ to a worthwhile way to spend their time.
2. Start young
I remember a mum at work once saying to me:
“I wish someone had told me that I don’t need to play with my child all the time, now 5 years on, I never get a break”
So this is someone telling you:
It is not your job to entertain your child. It is not your job to be at their beck and call. And this starts from day 1.
Children get use to the routines and environment, if from their very first weeks, they have independent time on the floor you will find independent play as they get old easier. I remember in those first months the guilt I felt when I left Little Ninja on the floor and did the folding was strong, but she was fine. I was nearby and she was safe, happy and content.
If you are after ideas check out Casey from Little Lifelong Learners high contrast cards which are perfect for entertaining little ones as they develop their eyesight or Siân from Teach. Investigate. Play. who has a wonder blog post on 15 ideas for tummy time.
3. Prepared environment
“There are three teachers of children: adults, other children, and their physical environment.” – Loris Malaguzzi
The environment that you would like independent play to occur needs to be set up for your child to succeed. Consider:
Can the child access everything they need?
Are they completely safe in the environment if you are walking in and out?
Is the environment engaging and inviting?
Is the space overwhelming with too many options that choice paralysis sets in?
Having a prepared environment isn’t about having all the right expensive wooden toys, or flashing light up kids ‘laptops’, it’s about creating a safe space where the child is capable of meeting their own needs during play.
The more independent the child can be in their environment, the more of that hot coffee you get to drink!
"The first aim of the prepared environment is, as far as it is possible, to render the growing child independent of the adult." - Maria Montessori
4. Give intentional one-on-one time
So the stage five clinger is dangling from your leg and you can’t go to the toilet in peace, we have all been there!
To give space for separation, ensure you pencil in some clear one-on-one time.
Fill their cup so you then have space to fill yours … with a hot caffeinated beverage.
If children, feel disconnect from us they will actively seek this connection, whereas if it is predictable in the routine and they are feeling connected then they will explore more on their own.
This might sound counter-intuitive; however, this is golden.
For us, the more you can build this into the routine and rhythm of
the day, the more predictable it is and the higher your chance for a cuppa.
5. Simple invitations to play
Picture this: You’re 5 and you run downstairs in the morning and see a new toy ... keeping quiet you play ... don’t want to wake your brother or anyone to alert them to your fun and everyone gets a sleep in!
Sounds dream like right! But this could be reality!!
Taking 5 minutes at night to set up an invitation to play could save your sanity in the morning while you make breakfast and have your coffee
The trick is simple (no one has time for more) and engaging (you want maximum play time). This is not my strong suit but there are some mums nailing this, my favourite to find simple ideas and inspiration from are:
Love from Kate has some amazing set ups! Check out her match the 3D objects, simple threading, and her simple car track!
Play.Activities.With.Mama check her out on both Youtube and Instagram
